he wants to bone in the snuggie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
