After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
