i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
