FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
