her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
