I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
