I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
