Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
