It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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