There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
