O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he was CRYING into my vagina
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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