so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
