worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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