My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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