margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
