Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
