I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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