i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
