why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
