More tranny stories later!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
