i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
