Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
