I don't think brook has ever known best
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
