ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
