The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
