You work out of a Hotel?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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