hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
