just tell him i said nine months
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
