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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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