if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
