Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
