Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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