WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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