I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
