i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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