I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
