Ambien. No doubt about it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
