i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
