I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
