i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
