Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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