so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
