I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
