the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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