Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
