I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
