did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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