Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
