A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
