I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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